26 Sep Imagine: YOU, healed, IN a relationship
You heal IN relationship, not when you’re alone
Are you the type of person who likes to take time off of being in a relationship in order to find yourself?
I definitely don’t advocate jumping from one relationship to another.
However, we don’t actually heal our relational wounds when we are alone.
We are born in relationship.
There is no mother without child, no child without mother.
We are surrounded by family and grow up in those relationships, learning every step of the way “how to be” in relationship to others.
Most particularly, how we relate to our opposite gendered parent is how we learn how to have our adult relationships with partners, how to be treated.
Did your dad cherish your feelings, if you’re a woman? If so, then you’ll expect the same from a man. If not, then you’ll never know what you’re missing when a man doesn’t take care of your feelings.
Did your mother respect your thoughts as a growing boy? If so, then you’ll want the same respect from a woman. If not, you’re probably used to being over-mothered and when a woman is an aggressor, it’s business as usual. You don’t know any different. You may or may not like it. It’s familiar though.
No matter how much we care for our “person” or people who we are in a relationship with, we will cause them pain. And they will cause us pain.
We are all finite, fallible human beings. It’s going to happen. It’s part of the process and part of the growth of the relationship. If we can progress past it, the relationship is often stronger.
Most importantly, when we find our partner, the person who sees us for who we are, we are healed in our relationship.
We cannot do it on our own.
We’re all fine when we’re by ourselves.
Our issues get triggered when we’re in a relationship.
So…IMAGINE: YOU – healed IN relationship.
That’s how it happens.
Yes, it will take some ups and downs. Some steps forward and some steps back. And that’s the path. That’s the journey. We all have our individual one, but it’s universal in that it’s not without pain and stumbles. You are not alone.
You don’t have to walk it alone either. Click here to learn more.