06 Dec How to Happily Date “Mr. Right Now”
Are you dating to find Mr. Right? Or are you dating Mr. Right Now?
Hi. This is Dr. Sharon. It’s the time right now in between Thanksgiving and New Year’s and I had an interesting conversation with one of my clients. She was telling me that a lot of action was happening right now on the dating websites for her.
It seems that a flurry of activity was going on specifically right after Thanksgiving. And we were discussing why that might be.
The supposition was that perhaps because so many people had gone home for the holiday and either had seen a lot of their friends in relationship or maybe spent time with their family and had gotten a lot of questions about:
“What’s going on? Why aren’t you in a relationship?”
they’ve started to look more actively for someone to snuggle up with for the holidays.
Also, people don’t really like to be alone for Christmas and New Year’s so they’re looking for Mr. or Miss Right Now. However, they aren’t necessarily looking for a long-term relationship with that. They’re looking for someone to get through the cold winter months. And that’s ok. There’s nothing wrong with looking for someone for right now as long as you both go in knowing that’s exactly what you are looking for and that it’s not for the long haul.
Mr. Right vs. Mr. Right Now
So I guess my main thing I want to talk about is going into a relationship with eyes wide open and knowing what it is you’re wanting. If you want a long-term relationship, then you need to be upfront with that in the beginning.
Another one of my clients just recently got into a long term relationship that has an eye towards marriage, which means that, not that they are going to get married right now, but that they both want marriage. So they’re looking at this relationship as a potential for that.
If they didn’t have an eye towards marriage, then they would be dating just to date. Who knows where it might end up?
One might think they ultimately wanted marriage and the other might not necessarily know if they wanted it or not and they are just dating ultimately to just to date. That’s a relationship that’s headed for a potential disaster because of the lack of clarity of what the relationship is about.
Clarity is key
My main suggestion here is that when you start seeing someone is LET IT BE KNOWN whether or not you want to be in a long-term relationship that’s headed towards marriage or headed towards mating, meaning that you are going to be together with someone for a long period of time. Or if you’re dating just to date, just to get through the next few months, just to be with someone to spend time together, “Netflix and chill” as they say or if you’re just dating for tonight.
Because any of it’s okay. All of it’s fine as long as you are clear about it.
So that’s my main goal – to tell you to be clear. To say what you mean and mean what you say. That’s the best way to be good to other people and to be good to yourself.
Happy Thanksgiving. Happy Holidays. Have a great New Year. Here’s wishing everybody love and happiness in 2017. Take care.