Dr. Sharon Cohen | Being single is a state of mind
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Being single is a state of mind

Being single is a state of mind

…and reality, all at the same time.

For some people, it’s a lonely, miserable existence to get through until they get into their next relationship.

For others, they’re exactly where they want to be with all the freedom in the world and with no one to answer to.

For anyone who hasn’t been single in a while, they may not remember what it feels like to not have to call and report where you are, what you’re doing, and what time you’re going to be home.

As a single person, you can change your mind at a moment’s notice and do something else entirely. You have no one to answer to.

The spontaneity that being single allows is unparalleled.

Being single and having fun

Three female friends, having fun and doing leisure activities, sharing moments.

For instance, if you are out at an event and a friend invites you to spend the weekend at their vacation home, you can grab a quick weekender bag and go. No muss, no fuss! Out the door, you go. YAY! You’re happy you’re single now, yes?

If a friend calls and says they have an extra ticket to a concert that starts in an hour, you don’t have anyone to call or coordinate with. You check with yourself to see if you feel like it would be fun. If yes, GO! No problems being single in the moment. It’s fun!!

On the other hand, if you want time to yourself, you take it. Nurture yourself the way you want to take care of yourself. Turn the television off. Go to bed when you want. Make dinner or not. It’s all the way YOU want it to be. You are directing your own space and your own life.

You don’t have to ask someone to “turn it down, I’m trying to go to sleep in here.” Or “I just want some peace and quiet.” It’s your place and space. If you want music playing, play it. If you want silence, have it.

It’s all up to you.

Being single is a mindset. Enjoy it or hate it. And it’s normal to fluctuate between the two.

Because YES – there are moments in time where you WISH you had someone to call and they said: “come home, I miss you.” And YES – the times when you feel like no one understands the depths of your loneliness SUCK.

But take this time to explore yourself, your passions, take care of your health, and figure out who you really are. You will be so much happier in a relationship when you really know yourself. This is your time to date, too. Learn about all the things you DON’T want so when you find what you DO want you’ll know it right away.

Focus on the good parts as much as possible. Realize that you have control over how you perceive your relationship status and you might be surprised by your new perspective.

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