20 Sep How well do you nurture your relationship?
“Nurture your relationship”
Does that sound like a BIG thing?
It’s actually a bunch of little things that add up…
Nurturing behaviors include things like holding hands while walking down the street, bringing a cup of coffee to your love in the morning, spending ten minutes together before you rush off to work, and texting a love note in the middle of the day. You don’t have to do these each and every day, but sprinkling them in throughout the week are signs of attending to your partner and your relationship.
A really simple way of nurturing your relationship is to do “check-ins” at different times.
What’s a “check-in?”
A check-in is as simple as asking your partner how they’re feeling. Then you give them the time and space to take note of what they’re feeling in their body and heart. Finally, allow them to openly share their feelings. Your most important job in this process is to listen to what they say without attempting the FIX how they are feeling.
This check-in process is a real growth point for both men and women.
My clients, many of who are hard-charging, ambitious women, have been at work all day in their analytical, “get-it-done-now” brain. If you’re one of these women, you understand that in no way are you focused on your feelings when you’re at work. There’s no time for feelings. It’s all about work, logic, and focus.
Imagine that when you get home, your man gave you the opportunity and opening to get in tune with your feelings. Wouldn’t that be a beautiful way to move you into feeling more spacious, playful, and receptive? Wouldn’t you feel nurtured and cared for?
Also, the process of checking in builds the foundation of resiliency as we all learn to regulate our feelings. You’ll become more aware of what you are feeling in your body, your instincts, and what your heart is telling you.
This check-in process really offers a beautiful opportunity to grow your relationship and to get to know each other better. It can also help you support each other better through individual, career, and other murky life challenges.
Sometimes strong, independent women find it hard to reach out for support. My clients are used to relying on themselves because often they’ve been taking care of themselves and other people for quite some time. So they don’t ask others for help. “Be Strong” sounds like a good thing when actually a healthier way to live is to “Be Open” to others for support, love, and even guidance. We are social animals and aren’t meant to live this life without others.
When we use the check-in process, we aren’t having to reach out for support. Support is coming to us. And it will actually make reaching out for support easier as we sustain the practice of checking in.
Try it for yourself.
It doesn’t have to be only with a romantic relationship. It could be with a friendship. Your child. Teach them early that they can reach out for support.
Write to me and tell me how it works for you.